Rehab

I have to confess, I’m an addict. 

I’m sure each one of us has their own ‘addictions’ may it be illegal or legal. And as the term implies, it does give us this certain kind of need which is quite a struggle to kick out of the system, or in our day to day lives. 

I have always loved drinking sodas- COKE to be more specific and it has become a part of my life and although I know how bad it is for my body, I still keep on drinking it anyway. Worst part is, it has become my water. I’ve grown to be dependent on it and couldn’t bear not having it everyday. Thank God, I haven’t had any medical problems as of yet but I’ve always been scared that one of these days, it will dawn on me.

Two weeks ago, I’ve made the decision to finally stop, or take a rest maybe. Call it a rehab I suppose. I may sound untrue but since then, I’ve been manifesting signs of true addiction. Like cigarettes and drugs(basing from first had stories), I’ve had these really really bad cravings of some sort, begging myself to actually have drink, or bargaining with myself of actually having some sip. How could one get into deep like that? I haven’t fully realised it till now. I’ve had this hypoglycemic feeling, and would have these shakes or however you may call it when I long for thee; I had this seemingly unquenchable thirst. It was a lot harder than I thought. It was truly a habit difficult to break. Many times I thought, hey, maybe a sip won’t hurt but I just had to discipline and remind myself how I’ve neglected my body all these years. Believe me, in the past 2 weeks that I’ve been doing this, I felt profoundly proud cause this is the farthest I have come. Please note that this is not the first time I have tried to coke-cleanse myself. The most I could do before was five days. 

So what influenced this change? First would probably everything going around me at present. Maybe it’s just coincidence or paranoia but lately, people around me are being diagnosed with cancer, there were sudden deaths, and one that I dread most for some unknown reason, dialysis. I love life and I want to live it a bit more. I also know that although it is short, I wouldn’t want to spend most of my days being sick and in a deathbed. I already have MVP and Asthma so I don’t want to add any more to that.

I am still looking at different ways to motivate myself and hold on to this rehab for as long as I could. At times, I would think of rewarding myself with a glass but I know once I do that, I would just go back to square one. At present, I’ve been drinking water, and when the cravings are that bad, I drink juice and tea. I’m entering my third week soon and I couldn’t be more happy of myself for doing this. Hashtag certificate of self appreciation!

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