I am the youngest in the office and one of the perks of working with people twice my age is the wisdom and experience they keep on sharing and teaching me from day to day. And by those lessons I not only mean about work but also life in general- particularly about married life.
When I started sharing to the Tita’s how I was about to get married and went on and on about preparation, and those bloody requirements, traditions etc, they made it a point to provide me nuggets of wisdom which they have learned throughout the years. I love each of our sessions though. I feel like I have enrolled in a masterclass. Here are my notes so far:
- Although binded as one, remember that you are still two different individuals. Have your own identity. Me-time is essential
- Clichè BUT it is tested and proven: communication & listening is key. After living your busy lives, don’t forget to ask “How was your day?”
- Have a couple bucket list.
- There will be a point when you have kids and when that does happen, don’t let your lives revolve around them and eventually forgetting that you two have a relationship to maintain and keep alive. Nurture your kids AND your husband/wife.
- Work hard not only for the future but for NOW. All hard work pays off when you least expect it.
- Learn to give complements at least 1 a day.
- Know that at some point, your relationship will reach plateau. When that time comes, don’t despair, it’s normal. Like in sports, you just need to regroup, change the strategy and try something new. An activity, favourite restaurant, new hobby.
- Take down notes like arguments or things you fought about; or things your partner did to make you smile. This may sound silly but at one point, you both will be so bored you’ll do anything to keep you busy- I’m sure this note/notes will not only keep you on your toes but will heavily entertain.
- There’s no perfect formula for a successful marriage. It’s a lot of things and hard work to make it work but ultimately, it’s about you two. Treat it as your lifetime adventure.
Honestly, there’s much more but I’ll leave these here for now. If I’m honest, this new chapter of our lives scares me (insert my best and worst case scenarios playing in my head) but doesn’t it feel reassuring knowing these people are around to guide and probably yell at us when we’re screwing things up. And then one day when I’ve learned and seen enough, it’ll be my turn to pass this on. Bongga!