Mā-ffu Dámbēl • Mmmma-foo Dahm bhelllllll | Verb, Adj | 1. Popular Itawes expression of friends joking around pertaining to who did it better and whoever loses is stupid 2. Way of taunting a person/ group of people telling them they’re basically losers. Charooooooot! You might be wondering, ano bang connection ng title sa post na ito? Honestly, diko din alam pero let me try to tell the story, baka eventually maconnect ko para may sense naman kahit pano.

Backstory:

I am a certified probinsyana. Growing up, siyempre may mga party party tugs tugs ding ganap. Unlike the metro, di uso yung mga clubbing galore samin. Pag sinabi mong night club sa Tuguegarao, what comes to mind automatically is Macapagal (one whole street stretch of adult night clubs). Open 7 days a week pero try to pass by on a Friday or Saturday night and you’ll think May Flag Ceremony ba? Nakapila na silang lahat! Tapos yung mga proper party clubs naman, parang dadalawa lang yung maayos at may 75% chance na di ka uuwing may basag na bote sa ulo. So ang uso talaga, mga inuman lang sa kanto or bahay. Pros: Generally, mas safe; Mas tipid; Feeling ko mas bonded kame with friends lalo pa’t mahilig mag karaoke yung barkada. Although every now and then, we do try to go to what club is left for good fun! And yes, pagdating sa sayawan unli energy! Mga tinikling levels tapos biglang magsswitch sa pabebe tapos biglang lit af (oh dba millenial) tapos biglang mag chacha-cha! Expect our performance level! Pang Britain’s Got Talent ganern!

2 years ago according to Time Hop:

Fast forward to 2016. Sabihin na nating di kame naexpose masyado sa party scene ng mga shala so when we got invited to go to Revel, medyo we had our hampas lupa moments. I’m glad I dragged Puffy, one of my bestest friends to share this moment with me- in short, para may kasama akong mashonga if ever hahaha charot! So Revel, according to Google is a high-end nightclub (bongga me levelling), so you can expect the same high-class level service, interiors and crowd. Actually, sabit lang naman talaga kame cause definitely on a normal day, street food lang masaya nako but it’s good to experience this now and again di ba? Kita niyo may chinichika tuloy ako dito.

Upon entering the club, we had our first (1) hampas lupa moment.

Gelo went in first : stamped
Then Papa Jay (brother in law): stamped
I went next: stamped
Puffy last: stamped

Bilang sanay kame sa stamp pad and super evident bluish-grayish ink na magmamarka talaga sa skin, I sort of wondered pero diko na vinerbalise. Di naman umangal sila Gelo at Jay so naisip ko baka light activated ganern. Pero si Puffy, binalikan si ate girl!

Puffy: Ate! Pwedeng pakiulit kasi walang mark. Baka wala nang ink.
Ate girl: *Confused*. Ganun po talaga sir, sabay wave nung UV light sa kamay to show na meron nga.
Puffy: Ahhhh okayyy. Ganun naman pala. Dino- double check ko lang

Once we got in, tawa na talaga kame ng tawa. Napaghahalata kame agad agad eh nasa entrance palang hahah! We then sat on our booth and party party na! Bilang sanay kame sa kantong inuman, siyempre yung mga usual pulutan na inexpect namin is mga sisig, hotdog, chips (fries), siomai saka yung mga ganung pica-pica paandar lang. Pero pagdating namin, parang wala palang pulutan. Buti nalang lumaps na mga lola nyo before going. Pero as I said, performance level tayo sa dance floor so siyempre, nagutom din ulit kame eventually. Same time, umorder narin sila pero naloka kame, yung inorder na pulutan beh- sushi! Bacardi, Black Label at Sushi? (Hampas Lupa Moment #2). Siyempre tinginan kame ni bakla- ahhh ganito siguro talaga yung mga sosyal, iba yung taste nila sa pulutan. Tawa nanaman kame. Alam mo yung may feeling of not fitting in pero may feeling din na masaya lang kasi enjoy naman din yung moment.

By 1am, nagkayayaan lumipat next door which was sa Valkyrie- another one of those sikat clubs daw. It’s a bit bigger and that time EDM yung tugtugan although yung vibe is parang more masa yung crowd. What I can say is sobrang nagwalwal na lahat pero order pa more ng alak. Mukhang peg talaga yung gapangan and the aim was maubos daw lahat ng alak- pero parang impossibleng mangyari dahil nga order pa more ang mga bagets. Sabihin na nating yun na yung pinaka naging turning point ng pagkakaibigan namen ni Puffy. Walang usap usap, nagkaintindihan na agad sa mga ninja moves kaya eventually, literal na naging over flowing na yung alak hahaha! After 45 minutes siguro, achieve! Naubos nga lahat! I feel like I’m not making any sense and you may not even find this funny pero nakakatawa talaga yung gabing nagkaroon ng baha sa Valkyrie! Hahahaha hastag ninjamoves! Thinking about that experience 2 years later, feeling ko may mga learnings akong nasagap.

Hampas Lupa Guide to Partying with the Shalas

1. Mag hampas lupa dinner before the party. Minimum of 2 cups of rice + greasy ulam. More carbs, more energy yung walwal. The aim is di ka maghanap ng sisig at siomai in the middle of the party.
2. Para di lumabas ang pagka hampas lupa sa entrance, always remember: there are 2 types of stamps (1) Visible (2) Invisible. Yung number 2 is most likely what you will expect to receive pag nasa high end club ka.
3. Kung di ka sure sa mga nagaganap sa paligid, observe observe din mga besh. The rule is kung di sila umangal, ibig sabihin okay na yun. Kung nagreklamo naman sila, makisakay ka nalang para belong hahaha
4. Dapat handa ka. Magbaon ng at least 3 dance moves. Single single double double, sabay taas ng isang kamay para cool ka kunware.
5. Unlike your average toma sessions na pag ubos na alak, that’s the end of it kasi ubos na ang ambag, remember na iba sakanila. Pakiusapan na yung liver in advance.
6. Be prepared sa mga taong makikita mo at wag masyado kiligin at magpa hampas lupa selfie pag nakakita ka ng meztisong yayamaning cutie pie para di halatang it’s not really your scene.
7. Magbaong ng konting english for the times na wala pang amats. For sure pag lasheng na it will naturally flow and come out
8. Ang pinakamahalaga sa lahat, enjoy the moment! What I learned is that kahit nasa kanto inuman man or high end club man ako- depende parin yan sa kasama mo and kung pano niyo enjoy yung moment. Yun lang, shapath na!