In all honesty, I underestimated the whole process of getting married. Akala ko pwede na yung puchu-puchu lang na preparation. I never in my whole existence (wow, ang OA ko don) realised how elaborate the planning and preparation would take and how it can suck the pasensya out of you lol. That is why, I thought of writing this guide or list or however you may like to call it about how I came up everything. Who knows, may makarelate and find it helpful and I’m also doing this for my 2 avid blog followers na nagrerequest nito (akalain mo may nagbabasa pala ng mga churna ko dito!?)
1. Jumowa ka muna besh.
Find a jowa | Establish a good relationship | Level-up
Siyempre, let’s start this list right. Before you even go into overdrive, yung pinaka importante muna- dapat may jowa ka muna at alam niyang jowa ka niya at willing kang iharap sa altar. One thing I learned all these years is that you can’t ever force yourself into someone na hindi pa ready. Mahirap yan and if you do, you’re only setting yourself and the relationship to fail. Marriage is a lifetime commitment so it’s important na when you commit, pareho kayong ready and all in. Bear in mind na once you’re in, wala nang kawala hahahaha!
2. Rated K (Kasal): Handa na ba kayo?
Assess yourself | Assess your partner | Evaluate the relationship
As I mentioned earlier, marriage is a lifetime commitment and believe me, wedding planning is also hard work. Sino ba naman yung may gusto na in the middle of planning and organising everything, biglang may nag back out kasi narealise na di pa pala ready and nakita kung pano ka nag beast mode sa stress mo pumili kung carnation or blush pink yung shade na gusto mo. I guess, to make my hanash short, I established that first: (1) Nasa stage nako ng buhay ko na I enjoyed my own company, I had my fair share of singlehood fun, I know who I am and what I want and I have loved myself enough to want to share it with other people. (2) I am sure that I love and am in love with the person and I accept what he is, what he was and what he will be in the future and that this love and devotion and respect is equally reciprocated (3) Quality vs. Quantity. In that period that we’ve been together, has it been fruitful and worth it? Are we happy? Have we learned our lessons on those trialing times? Have we made each other a better person? Have you agreed to disagree and learned to compromise on certain things?
Pucha ang cheesy ko jan pero in fairness seryoso ako. I came from a broken family so I know and I’ve seen things na wit ko bet maexperience in the future so it just makes sense na maging sigurista din di ba?
3. Talk-show: Planning Phase 01
What do you want | Set expectations | How much are we willing to spend | When and where | Who should get involved
What do you want?
This is a very crucial question because this will be one of the backbones of your wedding planning. The talk shouldn’t be a one-off thing; counted yung mga random conversations/ chismisan nyo especially yung mga spontaneous comments ni jowa on random occasions na may connect sa wedding. Also, be patient especially with guys. Unlike girls, their planning isn’t as structured as we want it to be. Often times, they will say ikaw na bahala; kung ano gusto mo okay nako and that could be frustrating at times pero hinga lang girl, ganyan talaga sila. This celebration is about you two and 2 heads are always better than one so pag may chance, ask for their opinion. I-pattern mo ke tito boy yung questioning baka umepek.
Set expectations. How much are we willing to spend?
I based mine on these criteria: Bongga, Sulit or Simple. In this day and age, we can get easily swayed with all these wedding videos on Youtube or all these editorial-ish pictures and really extravagant settings. Oh tukso, layuan mo ko. Part of the talk would mean you have to be realistic and practical in choosing what you want especially on the financial side of things. Ang gastos pala magpakasal.
We settled for a SULIT wedding. If we’re gonna do it in the UK, computing the expenses of visa and air fare palang, talo na kame. Plus the actual wedding expenses which quite frankly, mahal nga talaga dito. Since all the family’s back home, might as well di ba? In terms of spend, we shouldered everything equally and paid on a staggard basis so di sing bigat sa bulsa at di rin sing mahal.
When and where
We’ve set one specific criteria for this. We wanted it to be in Manila, and the church and reception should be in just one area para no hassle for the visitors. As for the date, I know some people prefer a certain special date and all; yung iba nagpaconsult pa kay Tita Zenaida Seva or pina feng shui pa pero on this bit, we went for something more practical hahaha. What we originally wanted was January 2018 (which was our anniversary, my birth month, and swerti sa Chinese yung mga ocho ocho). The catch was, we already found a venue that had everything and they were basically on sale so hinabol lang talaga naming yung sale wherein nakatipid kame ng malaking halaga. Ang pinaka kinonsider namin is 80% practicality, 15% swerti and 5% audience impact char! We chose November kasi it’s off-peak and may pa-discount si Mayor, Friday kasi para may pasok lol so meaning mas tipid sa headcount kasi di na aatend yung iba and 17 kasi wala lang bet lang naming hahahah.
Who should get involved
You will need all the support and help you can get from people around you especially if you’re doing this overseas planning thingy. Family, friends, can help you organise things for you so you just need to delegate certain responsibilities like taga lakad ng papeles, taga follow up ng supplier, taga tikim ng food etc. If you have extra in the budget, you can hire a wedding organiser to help you run things smoothly. If you’re more like me na gusto hands on sa lahat, what I did was just get an on the day coordinator pero the rest, inayos ko na lahat. May internent naman.
4. Call Center Agent/ Researcher: Planning Phase 02
So meron ka nang initial talk with the Fiance and you’ve set your expectations, wants, budget and date. Eto na yung madugong process: looking for the perfect suppliers. What we did was after getting engaged, we flew home to get the ball rolling. Namanhikan na, and went supplier hunting. I think it’s much easier now cause you can find everything online plus there’s these webistes/ blogs and even facebook groups (Wawies) that is a good resource for all your needs. Anjan pa si pinterest where you can create your pegs/ inspiration looks so you’ll know what you’re working with and in a way visualise your plans.
From my own list, these are the major suppliers we booked for our wedding. What we did was list our top 3 for each, contact them and then compare their packages and see kung saan mas susulit without compromising our vision.
a. Church Venue – We didn’t want a big church kasi we wanted something a bit more intimate and parang di ko bet yung may bungi bungi sa upuan. We just wanted a small chapel. And like a said, yung malapit or at least walking distance lang sa venue para no hassle for everyone.
b. Reception Venue- Close to the chapel and yung maganda na siya as it is para minimal ayos nalang yung kelangan and no need to book Gideon Hermosa char!
c. Photo & Video: Siyempre, this is something na ayokong tipirin and doing a bit of photography myself I know how these pictures will live on. Although we’ve decided na we won’t go ahead sa pre-nup pictorial and save the date shoot and mag DIY nalang kame and recycle our travel photos and videos. Plus we have friends who takes good photos so avail na, nakatipid pa!
d. Caterer: of course, we wanted to get someone with excellent food and sulit packages especially with the styling since we agreed not to get a venue stylist.
e. On the day Coordination: Was not too picky on this although importante na yung may good feedback AND affordable
f. Lights and Sounds: Same, not to picky on this one. Actually this was one of our bahala na supplier
g. Music/ Band: this was actually just an option cause and plano is to let our friends do the singing/ entertaining instead.
h. Mobile bar: not a priority but a high option. Para walwal lang and ebribadi happy
i. Flowers: mahusay dapat pero di sing mahal. Malaki din kasi yung impact ng flowers so dapat oay din yung package offers daba
j. Event Host: di ko akalain ang mamahal narin pala ng rates ng mga hosts. Although I understand din naman na basically skanila nakasalalay yung flow ng programme and make sure na enjoy din yung mga guests.
As for the other essentials like invites, souvenirs, outfits etc, we decided to just outsource everything from where we are.
…. uy umay kna ba mag basa? Putulin ko na dito; part 2 on next entry!