Aca-nthoughts

17:01

It’s always nice and comforting to have the chance to speak to someone who share the same experience/ sentiments as you. Alam mo yung you feel like you’re not alone in whatever you’re going through, and that there’s someone who understands and gets your situation. They can also offer you a different perspective because they’ve lived through it. Also, parang you’re not afraid to hold back or filter any information – all you do is release all those bottled up thoughts, emotions and even fears kasi alam and relate sila.

I pray that we all get the oppotunity to release – I know lahat tayo may iba-ibang pinagdadaanan sa buhay. I hope everyone finds a person who listens and understands. Minsan kasi, as much as we have people around us willing to listen, there’s this different level of security you get if you share it with someone who gets it. There’s also that feeling na, you’re not alone and there’s someone else living your truth and that they’re actually okay, or that they’re finding ways to cope and hope.

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Aca-nthoughts

02:11

It’s the same I can’t sleep line again. Unfortunately, my workaholic self thought it would be fun to just go through my work emails (at 1am!!!?) and delete some of my 4k emails and catch up for later’s work. Lame, I know. So as I was scrolling, I came across an interesting (to put it lightly) email. It was nicely written but I could smell the aggression. Lol. Long story short, there has been quite an exchange and I chose not to meddle initially because I wasn’t personally involved but from the last reply, my eyes kind of twitched for a second because it was like a passive aggressive statement belittling our team’s knowledge.

I debated for a while. Part of me wants to take the higher ground and just leave it at that since my boss already replied however it was her reply to my boss that triggered me! The other side of me wants to be petty and prove her wrong. So, as any normal human being would do hahah, I spent the next few minutes composing the perfect (at least in my opinion) comeback. I used her own statements/examples and threw a counter argument which I thought she can’t come back to. Plus, the boss is off tomorrow and the whole week after so by hierarchy lol, I can technically involve myself. Shet, this has got me all fired up and all the more I couldn’t sleep!

I haven’t sent my reply yet though, cause it’s 2am and I will look like a creepy freak responding to emails at this hour but yeah, looking forward to later lol.

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Aca-sabihan

00:15

Finally! Weekend off where I’m not on call! Himala ba to?

Since work was finally out of the picture, nagyaya akong lumabas just to do some walking and snap some pictures since my favourite season is here. Thankfully, we also have loads of country parks in our area so pasok sa vanga.

All the times we’ve been out since the ‘rents went home were mainly for errands so walang ka-effort effort plus you’re wearing mask all the time so wapakels sa appearance. This time, medyo umandar ata yung pagkababae ko so I wanted to put in a little effort.

Medyo nawindang ako sa choices ko lol. Bukod sa nageffort ako to ditch my specs at mag mook up, nag tuck-in din si ate ghorl. Kebs sa puson at bilbil hahaha. At ang kaloka sa lahat, nag shoulder bag pa talaga ako – take note with chained strap pa yan lol. Di ata pang walking sa kagubatan yung navisualise kong ganap lol. Sabik na sabik lang umaura?

Siyempre may mga arteng photoshoot keme pero diko na ipopost kasi nagexpire na yung confidence level ko kanina. Pero on a medyo serious note, ang sarap din nung feeling na you do something that makes you feel beautiful and confident. I mean alam ko naman na di ako kagandahan plus I’m the first one to always okray myself pero yung moments na bibitawan mo yung insecurities mo and just BE is so refreshing. It also helps na lampake yung mga tao dito. I chose to be carefree about some of my biggest insecurities – my kinky curly hair and ang protruding Chanda romero pero I didn’t get judging eyes or side comments about it. And it radiates pala talaga ano? How you feel inside. Sana mafeel ko to palagi. Iba yung saya pag na-hahappy ka sa sarili mo.

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