Aca-nthoughts

00:53

Super productive day. Despite the insomnia kicking in the night before, I still woke up quite early.

It has been really tough at work plus it’s my second consecutive ‘on-call’ weekend so I’ve literally worked 14 straight days and man, I’m just so knackered – mentally, physically and even emotionally. This second wave of the virus is proving to be more challenging and it doesn’t help that every single query just defaults to our team. Ang hirap besh.

Anyway, going back to Saturday, despite my endless moaning of how tired I am, I blame my sudden burst of productivity to the elusive sun as it finally decided to showup. I finally get to draw all the blinds back to let the house soak up the sunshine (for natural disinfection) and I get to clear all the pile of leaves from our driveway with my magical walis tingting! All these done whilst simultaneously sending reports and taking calls from work. Taray, multi-tasker choz!

I also managed to fit in some sort of exercise = tiktok! Hahaha! I’m happy cause at least I finally get to do something physical that I enjoy rather than sulk and body shame myself but doing absolutely nothing about it. Good news is somehow I lost some weight (konting-konti palang but at least may progress!) and my endurance to perform any physical activity has improved. Bongga!

In the evening I watched a bit of K-drama + BTS, a lot of self-care activities and now in bed waiting to finally doze off so here’s me writing about my day. Nkkhppy! I hope tomorrow, sa essay ko naman ako sipagin. Lol. Taaaaaaaa!

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Aca-nthoughts

17:01

It’s always nice and comforting to have the chance to speak to someone who share the same experience/ sentiments as you. Alam mo yung you feel like you’re not alone in whatever you’re going through, and that there’s someone who understands and gets your situation. They can also offer you a different perspective because they’ve lived through it. Also, parang you’re not afraid to hold back or filter any information – all you do is release all those bottled up thoughts, emotions and even fears kasi alam and relate sila.

I pray that we all get the oppotunity to release – I know lahat tayo may iba-ibang pinagdadaanan sa buhay. I hope everyone finds a person who listens and understands. Minsan kasi, as much as we have people around us willing to listen, there’s this different level of security you get if you share it with someone who gets it. There’s also that feeling na, you’re not alone and there’s someone else living your truth and that they’re actually okay, or that they’re finding ways to cope and hope.

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Aca-nthoughts

02:11

It’s the same I can’t sleep line again. Unfortunately, my workaholic self thought it would be fun to just go through my work emails (at 1am!!!?) and delete some of my 4k emails and catch up for later’s work. Lame, I know. So as I was scrolling, I came across an interesting (to put it lightly) email. It was nicely written but I could smell the aggression. Lol. Long story short, there has been quite an exchange and I chose not to meddle initially because I wasn’t personally involved but from the last reply, my eyes kind of twitched for a second because it was like a passive aggressive statement belittling our team’s knowledge.

I debated for a while. Part of me wants to take the higher ground and just leave it at that since my boss already replied however it was her reply to my boss that triggered me! The other side of me wants to be petty and prove her wrong. So, as any normal human being would do hahah, I spent the next few minutes composing the perfect (at least in my opinion) comeback. I used her own statements/examples and threw a counter argument which I thought she can’t come back to. Plus, the boss is off tomorrow and the whole week after so by hierarchy lol, I can technically involve myself. Shet, this has got me all fired up and all the more I couldn’t sleep!

I haven’t sent my reply yet though, cause it’s 2am and I will look like a creepy freak responding to emails at this hour but yeah, looking forward to later lol.

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