Aca-ganapan, Married Life

Farewell, 699.

6 years, 5 post codes.

Today, we surrendered our keys for 699. It was bittersweet because despite our short (11 months) stay, I would say it was one of the most memorable times of our married life. That small space was a witness to a lot of tears and struggles; a whole lot of laughter and random conversations; daydreaming and making plans for the future; discovering what we both want and how we both are; we also got to experience that sense of being mag-asawa to its truest form. We made it our own home and filled it with love, laughter, lots of music and of course, food. Haaay. Good times.

I will miss going home to 699 but, I am hoping to make similar happy and unforgettable memories in our new home. I now get why Holly (Hilary Duff) from The Perfect Man hated moving and kept yearning for a sense of home. Mahirap pala talaga. I think over the years when I was still back home in Pinas, we only ever moved once and that was for the long haul. Since I moved here in the UK, I’ve actually moved into 5 different addresses (1. Accomodation 2. Roselaine 3. 105 NP 4. 91 NP 5. 699 CD) already. And let me just tell you, nakakapagod. But yes, I am positive that this 6th and final move (not unless our plans change lol) will start a brand new exciting chapter into our lives. Also, this is another level of adulting so wish us luck! Taaaa!

A.

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Aca-nthoughts, Married Life

Year 2.

2 years, my love.

For better – this year, I’ve seen how you’ve grown (I mean about other growth but if you’re thinking physically well yeah, I’ve seen that too and you weren’t alone in that division, lol). You took a leap of faith and changed jobs; you left your comfort zone for more opportunity for learning; your perceptions about human nature matured, which meant you no longer fret about your frustrations because you now understood how people are people; you’ve become more responsible; you’ve accepted the fact that you will always be in charge of feeding me lol;

For worse – In all our years as friends first till we got married, we’ve sailed our roughest sea this year. Although we’ve had our small victories, we’ve also seen losses – the one where you’ve lost a big piece of your heart, one that is irreplaceable and impossible to forget. I’ve seen how you’ve tried to detach yourself from your emotions in front of everyone and still give them your warmest smile. But then, I’ve also witnessed how you bend and break quietly in a corner, ripples of grief flooding your eyes and soul. Feeling helpless and not knowing what to do or how to help. All those times all I could ever wish for was to take away your pain.

When I look back at our vows, I think I now understand the gravity of these promises made and that nothing would come easy. This year taught us about resilience. We are naturally flawed, inconsistent and we can never control what happens. But that’s just how life is and all we could do is to relentlessly march forward. And know that in every step, I am here with you plus, you’re new guardian angel – Mama Melinda. ❤️

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Blabbermouth

Tita Things: Crash course on Married Life

I am the youngest in the office and one of the perks of working with people twice my age is the wisdom and experience they keep on sharing and teaching me from day to day. And by those lessons I not only mean about work but also life in general- particularly about married life.

When I started sharing to the Tita’s how I was about to get married and went on and on about preparation, and those bloody requirements, traditions etc, they made it a point to provide me nuggets of wisdom which they have learned throughout the years. I love each of our sessions though. I feel like I have enrolled in a masterclass. Here are my notes so far:

  • Although binded as one, remember that you are still two different individuals. Have your own identity. Me-time is essential
  • Clichè BUT it is tested and proven: communication & listening is key. After living your busy lives, don’t forget to ask “How was your day?”
  • Have a couple bucket list.
  • There will be a point when you have kids and when that does happen, don’t let your lives revolve around them and eventually forgetting that you two have a relationship to maintain and keep alive. Nurture your kids AND your husband/wife.
  • Work hard not only for the future but for NOW. All hard work pays off when you least expect it.
  • Learn to give complements at least 1 a day.
  • Know that at some point, your relationship will reach plateau. When that time comes, don’t despair, it’s normal. Like in sports, you just need to regroup, change the strategy and try something new. An activity, favourite restaurant, new hobby.
  • Take down notes like arguments or things you fought about; or things your partner did to make you smile. This may sound silly but at one point, you both will be so bored you’ll do anything to keep you busy- I’m sure this note/notes will not only keep you on your toes but will heavily entertain.
  • There’s no perfect formula for a successful marriage. It’s a lot of things and hard work to make it work but ultimately, it’s about you two. Treat it as your lifetime adventure.

Honestly, there’s much more but I’ll leave these here for now. If I’m honest, this new chapter of our lives scares me (insert my best and worst case scenarios playing in my head) but doesn’t it feel reassuring knowing these people are around to guide and probably yell at us when we’re screwing things up. And then one day when I’ve learned and seen enough, it’ll be my turn to pass this on. Bongga!

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